I Woke Up This Gay
I Woke Up This Gay
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Podcast data
Created By Stuart MerrillPodcast Status activeStarted 29/03/2022Latest Episode 17/03/2023Release Period EpisodicEpisodes 12Partner Reviews 0Language EnglishFrequency 648Average Length 24 minutes and 12 secondsCountry United StatesGlobal Rank TOP 1%Description
THE HIGH COST OF HATRED
In "I Woke Up This Gay" I recall my 60+ years experiences as a gay man during the LGBTQ+ rights movement and the AIDS epidemic. Â
The resurgence of anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric and hate speech on conservative news outlets and in state legislatures around the country is already resulting in senseless violence against innocent young members of our LGBTQ+ community.
Those conservative pundits and politicians spewing hatred, they don't pay the price of their hatred, we do. My generation of gay men and today's transgender children paid and are still paying the price of other people's hatred, bigotry and intolerance. Â
The most effective way to combat the resurgence of anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric and violence is to remind people how things worked out for us the last time we went down this road. Â
Born into a prominent Mormon family, but raised by my Russian mother speaking Russian, German & English. I was recruited out of high school to work for United States intelligence agencies and became the first American allowed to keep my top secret security clearance after coming out as a gay man.
My Mormon bishop commanded my older brother to beat the queer out of me. On behalf of the Mormon Church my uncle organized and financed national campaigns against gay rights, including raising $20 of the $40 million to fund Prop 8, the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage in California.Â
It's simple human nature to try to forget the bad things that happened to us. It's a sort of survival mechanism. I don't want to remember those horrible tragedies. I don't want to remember having my face, clothes and hair covered in the spit of some high school football team. I don't want to remember hiding behind a dumpster in some back alley, praying that my friends also found somewhere safe to hide from that horrible mob of gay bashers waiting for us outside the gay bar. Â
I don't want to remember my boyfriend in Moscow being arrested, tortured and murdered by the KGB for being a prominent gay activist, or watching a man beaten to death in New York knowing that if I had tried to help him they would have killed me too.  I don't want to remember how the armed policeman refused to stop it, or even take my witness statement and I wish I could forget the sound of that young man's skull exploding when hit by a 2x4. I would give anything to forget what that sounds like.
Who wants to remember that by the age of 30 most of my friends were already dead from AIDS, or that my own brother and my own president loved to joke about how fags got what we deserved when we died of AIDS. Â
When my best friend Stevie was dying of pneumonia in New York's posh upper east side his nurses were not allowed to give him oxygen because he had AIDS. That's when I vowed to join the struggle and became an activist.Â
I was compelled to fight for LGBTQ+ rights and equality in the halls of the United States Congress and in the Utah State Legislature. We passed hate crime & gay rights legislation as well as state and federal legislation paying for HIV medication.  Â
I fondly remember how the gay community pulled together to launch media and political campaigns, how we took care of the sick when no one else would. Â
My story takes you through the streets of Moscow and Berlin during the Cold War, translating for Presidents and Prime Ministers as my friends died in the AIDS wards of Chicago and New York. Â
Right now the rights and equality we fought and died for are under threat. Those few of my generation who survived must stand up, tell our tragic stories and remind everyone how important it is to remember, to never forget the high cost of hatred. If we do not, history will repeat itself yet again.
My name is Stuart MerrillÂ
And
I Woke Up This Gay!
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#630877 - 12. My Generation's Miracle
2 years ago
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